Dancing on Glass

Ich habe von meinem Kollegen Mathieu ein Manuskript von einem Theaterstück bekommen. Es wurde von einem gewissen Ram Ganesh Kamatham geschrieben und trägt den Titel "Walking on Glass". Es spielt in einem Call Center in Bangalore :-) und erzählt die Geschichte von Megha, 22, einer Customer Care Consultant, und Gophal, 23, einem Software Ingenieur. Hier ist die erste Szene des Theaters:


Megha's office, a call center. She recieves a call from an American client.

Megha: Hello, welcome to I-Soft Customer Support. I'm Meagan. I will be your care consultant today. How can I help you?

Voice: Uh... hi. Yeah... Uhh... I'm having problems with my Internet.

Megha: I'm so sorry to hear that, but I'm glad I'm the one that got your call. I'm going to do everything I possibly can to help you today. Is that all right for you?

Voice: Yeah.

Megha: Once again, my name is Megan. May I know your name please?

Voice: Uhh. Dan... my name is Dan.

Megha: Thank you, Dan. In order to help you I'll need to pull up your account and ask you a few questions to protect your privacy and security. Is that ok?

Voice: Uhh... yeah.

Megha: We'll get right to it then... Dan, do you have your I-Soft account card with you?

Voice: Yeah. That's the one with the numbers on it, right?

Megha: That's right, Dan. Could you read out the last four numbers of your customer
identification number for me?

Voice: Uhhh... I don't know what that is...

Megha: It's the third number on the I-Soft account card. The one labelled - customer identification number. It has sixteen digits. Could you read out the last four number for me?

Voice: Four... seven... nine... ouh...

Megha: Thank you Dan... (pause) Dan. I'm having some problems with your account. Could you repeat the number for me?

Voice: Four.. seven... nine... eight...

Megha: Four seven nine eight?

Voice: Yeah... that's what I said, didn't I?

Megha: Yes, you did say that, Dan. I'm sorry I didn't hear you the first time. I'll just check your account.

Voice: Uhh... what did you say your name was?

Megha: Meagan. Right Dan, I've just verified your account information. What seems to be the problem with your account?

Voice: When I try to connect to the Internet... it won't let me.

Megha: I apologize for the inconvenience, Dan. I'm sure I'll be able to help you out. Before we get started, I'll need to ask you a few questions. What operating system are you using on your computer?

Voice: Windows.

Megha: Which version of Windows?

Voice: Windows... uhhh... XP, I guess...

Megha: Thank you. How are you connecting to the Internet - a modem, DSL?

Voice: Modem, I guess...

Megha: Thank you. Are you sure your modem is operational?

Voice: What?

Megha: Is your modem working correctly?

Voice: Now how am I supposed to know that?

Megha: Dan, when you switch on your modem, do you see lights on the modem flashing? Or, do you hear some sort of dial-up noise? Like the noise a fax machine makes?

Voice: Meagan, right? You said you're Meagan?

Megha: Yes, that's correct, Dan.

Voice: Meagan, I don't think you're American. I can tell a Paki cunt when I hear one! You're probably some Paki cunt, aren't you?? In like fuckin' Afghanistan or something!

Megha: (pause) Dan, I'm located in Bangalore, India. At the I-Soft Customer Care Centre.

Voice: And you're probably not even called Meagan. You're probably Jamilla or Anitha or something, right?

Megha: Dan, I'm here to help you with any problems you have with your account. Ok? I'm just doing my job.

Voice: No, bitch! You are doing my job. Sitting in front of a computer, and takin' calls. That's my job. That's what I feed my family with, yeah? And you took it away, bitch!

Megha: Dan, is there a problem with your account that I can help you with?

Voice: Now listen up, bitch! Your job... your fuckin' job is to spread your fuckin' legs and let them Marines teach ya some fuckin' lesson. Yeah? That is your goddamn job! Takin' calls is my job, ok? Not yours! You got that? My job!

Megha: Dan, once again, I'm afraid I can only help you with problems related to your I-Soft account.

Voice: The problem with my account is that it doesn't work and the other problem is... I mean, how the hell are you going to solve my problem when you're in fuckin' Afghanistan, you fuckin' bitch! Do you understand what I trying to tell ya?

Megha: Yes, Dan, I completely understand. But as a valued customer, I must ask you to focus on the problem at hand.

Voice: I'm going to get another beer now and when I come back, I'll tell you about the fuckin' problem. Yeah... and... (muffeld thump, dial tone...)

Megha: Dan? Hello? Dan, have a great day and thank you for calling Customer Support!

Megha takes off her headset...